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实例解析托福作文如何突出重点

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如何让托福作文突出重点?我们实例分析一下吧,快来一起学习学习吧,下面小编就和大家分享,来欣赏一下吧。

实例解析托福作文如何突出重点

托福写作如何突出重点呢?很多考生对此十分的迷茫,和出国留学网托福作文栏目小编一起来看一下托福范文是如何突出重点的吧!

1. 把重点摆在句首或句尾. 一般而论,最显眼的位置是在“句尾,其次是在句首,中间的位置最平淡,乏善可陈。”例如:

(1).Incorrect grammar and improper construction invariably distract readers' attention.

(2) The history of vocabulary is, in many ways, the record of civilization.

把重点放在句尾是种“吊胃口”的方法,读者或听者非得读完或听完整句不可。

2. 在复杂句里,把主句放在从句之后.除了名词从句和形容词从句之外,因为它们位置较固定,副词从句中有几种的位置灵活,可以在主句之前出现,也可以跟在主句之后。通常我们就把这样的副词从句提前,重点则放在后头的主句,如(3b): (3a) I came upon an old classmate when I went to town yesterday.

(3b) When I went to town yesterday, I came upon an old classmate. 副词短语更是如此,如 (4b): (4a) Steel is commonly used to make knives, razors and other useful tools because of its durability.

(4b) Because of its durability, steel is commonly used to make knives, razors and other useful tools. 3. 把较重要或有分量的词语放在后头,如(5b)和(6b): (5a) I was delighted and amused by the classical opera

(5b) I was amused and delighted by the classical opera.

(6a) That singer's life was tragic and brief.

(6b) That singer's life was brief and tragic. 4. 把句子中一系列的项目作逻辑性的排列。例如: (7) Tony ate his dinner, watched TV, and then went to bed.

(8) Were you bored with years of study in elementary school, high school and institute of higher education? 5. 必要时,重复重要的语词或概念。 例如: (9) Jackie enjoys the company of ladies. He likes their beauty, he likes their delicacy, he likes their vivacity, and he likes their silence.

(10) ...the land stretched out without names. Nameless headlands split the surf; nameless lakes reflected the nameless mountains and nameless rivers flowed through nameless valleys and nameless bays.

3波大招教你玩转托福独立写作中的举例论证

什么是例证法?

例证法是对分论点进行展开的一种非常有效的方法,不同于逻辑论证,它更多偏重对某一种经历或事实的论述,从自己的“经验”或社会的“事实”出发,对自己的分论点进行展开或证明。

例证法的优势

例证法的第一个优势是调节字数。例证法的一个特点是“生动具体性”,只有将例子填充足够多的背景和细节信息,才能够给读者带来充分的“代入感”,从而到达说服人的目的。而细节的详略具体程度就可以成为字数调节的一个工具。在论证部分,如果逻辑论证不好展开或者展开的篇幅比较小,这个时候就可以用一个详实具体的例子来增加展开的丰满度;如果逻辑论证本身就足够详实,就可以用一个稍微概括性的例子来增加展开。但要注意一点,增加细节不是没有重点或无意义地随意扩充,一定要保证例证与分论点的相关性,具体如何操作,我们会在下文中进行展开。

例证法的第二个优势就是它适用于逻辑性弱以及词汇贫乏的同学,对于逻辑性弱一点的同学,尤其是年纪比较小的考生,可能本身论理思维没有那么严密,在推导过程中很容易出现逻辑链的缺失,或者无法用准确的词表达出抽象性的概念,所以逻辑展开并不能恰当地运用好;而例证法则可以用相对平实具体的语言描述经历,从而对分论点进行说明和展开,所以从这个角度来说,它的运用就会更加简单一些。

如何使用例证法?

例证法看似简单,但用的恰当却并不容易。

一个好的例子应该具备三个特点:相关性,细节性以及结论性。

l 相关性

例子本身是作为论据的一部分,它最核心的作用就是去证明的分论点,所以例子本身的逻辑和内容必须贴切主题句,也就是分论点。而主题句本身包括主题(topic)和观点态度(controlling idea)两个部分,所以例证本身也是针对于这两个方面进行例证展开。比如对于Technology has improved people`s living conditions significantly这样的主题句,它的主题是technology,而观点态度是has improved people`s living conditions significantly,所以我们对应将这两方面进行具体事例扩充:technology扩充为空调(air conditioner), 而improved people`s living conditions significantly可以初步扩充为“空调没普及的时候,人们在夏天非常难受;空调发明后,人们在夏天很享受”。

l 细节性

例证作为论据区别于逻辑的最大一点在于它是“生动具体”的,给读者强烈的真实感和共鸣感,所以它必须要填充详细具体的细节作为支撑。

细节填充的第一个原则就是W&H原则,补充when,where,who,why以及how的这些信息;尽量用具体的时间(three years ago; in 1988; when I was in 3 grade等)来替换掉模糊的时间概念(in the past, before等),用具体人名(my cousin John)来替代泛指的人称(someone, a classmate);

第二个原则要扩充详细的修饰语,比如对于“我丢了一个帽子”,扩充修饰语就意味着你要补充各类信息,扩充之后就是“我在今天上午等202公交车的时候,把我妈妈给我缝制的红色毛线帽子丢在了站台长椅上”,有了足够多的信息补充,才会让读者有身临其境的代入感。

那对于上一个空调的例子,我们加入足够多的细节就变成“在1950s,中国的人们→忍受高温+甚至在南方引发高温病;现在的人们,有空调→终结高温+室内开凉爽派对空调让人们在夏天更舒适。”

l 结论性

例子证明也是论证过程,是论证就有分析和结论,所以在例证列举之后,要加上对分论点的总结和重申。而总结的方法可以用一个简单的因果链,也可以用强调句的形式。

因果:Because of the invention of air conditioner, we can enjoy a delightful summer now.

强调:It is the invention of air conditioner that enables people to enjoy a delightful summer now.

以上整个例子的呈现如下:

Technology has improved people`s living conditions significantly. For instance, in 1950s, people in China had to suffer the extremely high temperature during summer every single year, and in some southern regions, people even got ill caused by the horrible weather sometimes. However, as the technology developed, the invention of air conditioner has ended the intolerable suffering of hot summer, and nowadays people can have parties and gatherings in the cool indoor rooms. Therefore,because of the invention of air conditioner, we can enjoy a delightful summer now.

在进行例子的论证时,一定要记得例子本身最核心的作用是为了证明分论点,务必要紧贴着分论点进行例证展开,同时要补充足够的细节从而增加例子的生动具体性,给读者更多的代入感和真实感,最后就是要利用例子去分析和重申分论点。

托福独立写作高分小技巧—Rhetorical Questions

如果说参加托福考试时在综合写作中还可以适当使用“模板”的话,那么独立写作里“模板”的使用往往会被并标以“pre-prepared”,因此考生想通过这种“捷径”提高得分的结果不会特别理想。独立写作提高得分的关键还是“实力说话”。

尽管“模板”效果有限,但短期提高得分的技巧还是很多,如活用“万能理由”和巧用“论证方法”等。本文主要介绍在独立写作中很多考生没有注意的一个加分“小”技巧—rhetorical question的使用。

在托福写作实战中,rhetorical question的使用能够起到很好的加分作用。为了说明rhetorical question的加分作用,请看托福Official Guide评卷人对一篇题为Dishonesty Kills Reliability的满分作文的点评。下面是点评中关于language的comment:

The writer's language is fluent, accurate, and varied enough to effectively support the progression and connection of ideas. There is a variety of sentence structures, including rhetorical questions.

评卷人把rhetorical questions看做加分点!

从上面的点评中,我们可以清楚的得出这个结论——至少评卷人把上述段落中的反问句视作一种“句型变化”而加以肯定和褒扬。

那么,何谓rhetorical question?Rhetorical question会不会很难?

我们先来看在托福Official Guide里备受评卷人赞誉的rhetorical question实例。在原文第四段中,为了说明honesty的重要性作者是这样写的:

In any relationship of mine, I would wish that first of all, the person I'm dealing with is honest.Even though s/he thinks that s/he did something wrong that I wouldn't like,s/he'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again?How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there.……

提问而不需对方回答,提问只是为了表明并强调作者的立场。这不就是汉语中的“反问”吗?维基百科对反问句的定义是:

A rhetorical question is a figure of speech in the form of a question thatis asked to make a point rather than to elicit an answer. Though a rhetorical question does not require a direct answer, in many cases it may beintended to start a discussion or at least draw an acknowledgement that thelistener understands the intended message.

还有学者对反问的定义更加清楚:

A rhetorical question is asked just for effect or to lay emphasison some point discussed when no real answer is expected.

那么,rhetorical question为什么能够收到评卷人的赞誉而得到加分?这就要从托福作文的评分标准说起了。托福Official Guide里面对于高分作文的要求(Scoring Rubic)描述如下:

.ffectively addresses the topicand task

.s well organized and well developed, appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and / or details

.isplay Unity, progression, and coherence

.isplay consistent use of language,demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity

从上面的评分标准可以清楚看出,rhetorical question能够帮助我们满足实现评分标准第四条中的“demonstrating syntactic variety”。这也正是官方指南中评卷人的点评。

其实,除了体现“句型变化”,合理使用rhetorical question还能帮助我们满足评分标准第一条的要求“effectively addresses the topic and task”。事实上,rhetorical question不仅能够有效的回应主题,还能强调作者的观点从而获得读者的认同。rhetorical question的这种强调作用最著名的范例可能算是雪莱《西风颂》Ode to the West Wind的结尾了:

“O Wind,If Winter comes,can Spring be far behind?”

另外,问句,尤其是设问的合理使用还能起到很好的衔接作用,也就是评分标准的第三条“Display Unity, progression, and coherence”。因此,有学者把rhetorical question的篇章作用总结如下:

• Emphasize a point

• Persuade powerfully

• Influence subtly

• Provoke thinking

• Help smooth transition

限于篇幅,对这些作用就不一一举例了。顺便说一下,rhetorical question后面的标点并不一定总是question mark,有时也可以是句号或感叹号。

2015年09月18日北美新托福考试写作真题+范文

托福综合写作Reading:

The smeildons, a type of sabre-toothed tiger, despite having been extinct for thousands of years, nevertheless continue to attract much scientific research. Recently the question of whether they were social animals or not has aroused a heated debate. As far as we are concerned, they belong lo the social animal classification, which is explained in the following paragraphs.

First, smilodons lived in both South and North America from 1.8 million to 100,000 years ago, and through observing fossils from that period, scientists found evidence that some smilodons were wounded but still managed to survive. This raises an obvious question: Without the company of other members, how could the wounded smilodons survive? The wounded tigers needed other members of the pack lo hunt for them and tend to their wounds. Fossils suggest that smilodons are social animals.

Second, smilodon fossils discovered in the Rhea Kapoor tar pit in Los Angeles reflect a scene of their joint hunting at that time. An herbivore was caught in the sticky tar pit and on the verge of dying, and began attracting many hungry predators such as smilodons. However, during the process of capturing and eating the wounded beast stuck in the tar, many smilodons were also trapped in the gooey mess and died together as a group.

Third, living and hunting together would have improved smilodons’ competitive advantages. Though nowadays most tigers live and hunt alone, smilodons were quite different. Living in a time period where the natural environment was harsh and game was limited, smilodons had to cooperate with each other to hunt successfully, and in turn survive as a species.

托福综合写作题目:Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on points made in the reading passage.

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托福综合写作范文:

The reading hypothesizes that smilodons, the extinct sabre-toothed tiger, were in fact social animals. The professor discounts the evidence given, claiming that none of it sufficiently proves the smilodon was a social animal.

First, the reading claims that wounded smilodons were still able to survive, and this would have been virtually impossible without the aid and protection of other tigers within a pack. The professor is unconvinced, and says that smilodons were such powerful and tenacious animals that even the wounded could survive by scavenging for corpses left behind by other predators. Additionally, even wounded smilodons could have survived in harsh conditions due to their natural hardiness and physical resilience.

Next, the reading suggests that fossils found in the Rhea Kapoor tar pit in California indicate a group of smilodons all drowned in the tar while trying to surround and feed on a wounded herbivore. Instead of agreeing that they died together as a pack, the professor posits that many individual smilodons became I stuck in the muck at different times, while trying to get to the wounded prey.

Last, the passage describes the natural advantages of smilodons cooperating as a pack. The professor disagrees, and says that smilodons were evolved perfectly for their harsh environment, with strong, furred bodies and long sharp teeth for hunting. They needed no help in surviving solo.

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